Archives for CHIKARA

Not since the year two thousand and the three has Mr. Azerbaijan felt so treated unfairly. Of course, Mr. Azerbaijan is being referred to year of coal miner strike which cause Sexiest Man in Azerbaijan contest to be cancelled. Breaking Mr. Azerbaijan Sexiest Man in Azerbaijan streak since the year nineteen ninety and the four. Azerbaijani winters make hard to be sexy with frostbite. That is why Mr. Azerbaijan grow sexy mustache. Mr. Azerbaijan have sexiest mustache in CHIKARA, no doubt. Perhaps maybe Hasher Datfield and Jervis Cottonman. But Mr. Azerbaijan digress.

When Bloc Party lose Flag Match against dirty Baltic Seige, Bloc Party are made to be suffering terrible humiliations. In Azerbaijan it is against Azerbaijan law to wave flag not of Azerbaijan if one is from Azerbaijan. Mr. Azerbaijan’s name is not Mr. Latvia. Mr. Azerbaijan is more sexier than Mr. Latvia, Mr. Estonia and Mr. Lithuania combined. To make matters more bad, The Polar Baron has forsaken the Bloc Party and returned to the Motherland. Upon the leaving, Polar Baron have accidentally taken immigration documents for the Bloc Party. It is unknown at this time where is Polar Baron located because polar icecaps have melt away.

So, the Bloc Party cannot return to native land without papers and Bloc Party is not legal to stay. Bloc Party is literally outlaws in United America! The Proletariat Boar of Moldova is forced to call the road his home now. Prakash Sabar is an exile from Pakistan. And if Mr. Azerbaijan cannot return to yak farm in Jelilabad, Mr. Azerbaijan is only half the man of Mr. Azerbaijan’s name.

Soon it will be new year and time for next Sexiest Man in Azerbaijan contest. If Mr. Azerbaijan cannot return to Azerbaijan to compete, all of the CHIKARA will be made to pay! We are political prisoners with no political affiliation. CHIKARA will be turned upsided-down, rightsided up and turned down for what until justice is served.

Recently, at the King of all Trios, Bloc Party make meeting of retired wrestler Sean Waltman. Sean Waltman is now biggest fan of Bloc Party and consumes all merchandise like capitalist Americans always consume. Bloc Party even walk Sean Waltman to his car until Mr. One Two and the Three have two words for Bloc Party…“beat it.”

“Beat it.” Beat it is exactly what Bloc Party is going to do # 1 fan Sean Waltman – Bloc Party will beat it to this political injustice. Bloc Party will beat it to all misfortune. And Bloc Party will beat it into face of anyone in Bloc Party’s way. It starts with you, Ants Colony in the south country! Bloc Party will do what Bloc Party want to whoever Bloc Party want to do it against. The party may be over, but new age of generation will be replacing!

-Mr. Az