Who here remembers the movie Honey I Shrunk the Kids? An incredible piece of cinema made in 1989
which was based on a true story, I think. The details aren't important right now, but if you've seen the
movie then you'll pick up what I'm about to lay down. If not...Wikipedia it or something.
Don't click the Rick Moranis link! I know you want to, but we don't have all day...
Okay, moving on.
General synopsis of the movie aside...in said movie there is an ant by the name of "Anty" that grows
very fond of the children on their quest as tiny mini-people. He was awesome! While watching the movie,
you really came to connect with this insect. As the movie progressed, the kids unfortunately came in
contact with a crazy not-so-awesome scorpion that tries to rip the kids apart! Just when all hope was
lost, here comes Anty to save the children! Ultimately in doing so, Anty sacrificed himself in one of
the bravest, most noble acts this 3-year-old had ever seen. Anty was a real man's man. And he will
not be forgotten to this day. His actions really made me view ants differently. As a child, I'd
always watch my step as I never wanted to step on one. I never wanted to do an ant any harm.
Ants weren't just ugly insects, they were our friends.
Now here we are some 20 years later.
As a member of F.I.S.T. do you know what I've realized? Ants are NOT our friends. Ants are liars. Ants
are deceiving little creatures that DESERVE to be stepped on. I long for the chance to inflict harm on
an Ant. Whether it be a Fire Ant, a Soldier Ant or a little Green Ant. I can't get enough of it.
Don't think I've forgotten what happened at King of Trios this past year. The Colony robbed us in the finals.
They took what was rightfully ours. We should be King of Trios champions.
That will not happen again. You will not cheat us again. Chuck Taylor and I are TOO good for that to happen.
Have YOU forgotten? Who was the first team we beat on our road to our 3 points? Oh yeah...Soldier Ant
and Green Ant!
What makes you think this time will be so different? We've only gotten better.
Colony...Fire Ant...Soldier Ant...you wanna cash in your 3 points for a shot at the straps on
December 2nd in Philadelphia at Joshimania?!?! Ha. That's fine. We'll dismantle you in front of
Josh Groban, Josh Hartnett, Josh Beckett and whatever other Josh's decide to show up that night.
You Ants have ruined my life for long enough. On December 2nd, there will be no noble act of bravery,
no amazing inspirational victory...no one is going to be motivated by what takes place that night
in Philadelphia. This isn't a children's movie.