Well, whatever. I WILL be homecoming queen. It makes perfect sense, don’t you think? I am the first lady of CHIKARA. My, I’m the ONLY lady in CHIKARA. Nothing and no one gravitates such power over people like I do. I mean come on, I stop traffic and men with their girlfriends gawk at me as I pass by. Then I hear a *smack* because I know they just got in trouble. HA HA, idiots. I’m almost like Madonna: every man fears me; but, begs for my attention at the same time. The girls, well, they copy me in fashion and class. But you can’t duplicate greatness.

The icing on the cake? CHIKARA’s season finale is taking place in my hometown, PHILLY! Such pomp and circumstance. OOOO! Maybe I can get Mayor Nutter to close down Arch street and set up a parade for me. Yes, the Philadelphia Princess’s glorious homecoming! I’ll wave to the crowd as they cheer for me. Yes, they will adore me. With a Young Lion on my arm, nothing can ruin this magical night for me. Nothing.

Be sure to cast your ballots in Chicago and Cleveland. Even if tickets are sold out, Mark will be outside with the ballot box if you want to drop yours off. Let your voices be heard! There are other elections going on apparently, but you can get that wrong every few years. CHIKARA has never crowned a homecoming king and queen before. You must get this right! This is your chance to do something for the first lady of CHIKARA for a change!

V