Canada - home of the ignorant. Due to a blueberry picking adventure that later turned into a kerfuffle, Jakob is unfortunately not
allowed into Canada at this time (legal issues are pending.) Apparently having tremendous hair, boyish charm, und a sense of humor
is frowned upon by the Canadian border guards. Jealous creatures.
Since I cannot accompany mein tag partner Tim Donst on this excursion, I would like to take this time to write a bit of a
farewell message since this is the first time since "High Noon" that I will go without seeing Tim for more than 12 hours und I am very
nervous about this time apart. I don't do so well on mein own.
Tim: everyone in the locker room is jealous of your talent, looks, und most importantly, those massive guns. (Good luck sneaking those
through the border!) That is the exact reason why the CHIKARMY boos. (Although if the Canadian CHIKARMY is as apathetic as the Canadian
military then you don't have much to worry about.) As you meet El Generico very soon in Canada, you will get to showcase why you
are in fact "The Greatest Young Lions Cup Champion of All Time." You will showcase to the world, the dominance of a mat wrestling
style the likes which Canada has never seen before, und you will do it with the poise und grace of a majestic buck proudly
striding through un-driven snow.
To say that I am proud to call you mein tag partner is an understatement. While you are gone, I will continue training hard so when you
get back you can continue anchoring the world's most promising tag team as I continue to improve through your teachings.
Tim Donst will in fact beat the very best masked Mexi-Canadian in El Generico. This high flying dummkopf
will be grounded to the mat, due to the Mat Wrestling Machine's methodical attack. Meanwhile, Jakob will be scrap booking our BFF
collages waiting eagerly for your return so we can celebrate your recent SUCCESSFUL travels! I'd wish you luck, but your talent is
already an unfair advantage.