3/23/2011:
STOP it already! I’m so sick of all you CHIKARMY chumps asking who my partners are going to be for
this year’s King of Trios. Enough with the e-mails, the Facebook posts, it’s not your-space, it’s MY-SPACE.
Give me some and I’ll freakin’ tell ya.
While I’m certain that my accomplishments since last year’s tournament (Former YLC holder victories,
tour of Japan, etc.) warrant a one-man BDK team, I’m a humble guy. Figure I’ll share the winner’s spotlight.
My partners last year totally fumbled, and Sara Del Rey dropped the ball big time at “Operation: Big
Freeze.” I can't have a team of underachievers that can't take the pressure and stupid girls that don't
save their partners in time. But I do need someone unpredictable, someone that brings a little crazy to the table.
That's why I’m going with you, Delirious. You perfectly complement my precise mat wrestling skills
and text book technique.
Than there’s you Jakob. I know you're relatively untested - you took a long break from your
training to serve as our ring announcer before finally getting your act together and becoming an
active wrestler. When you finally asked Claudio to help finish your training, I saw that spark in
your eye. And in Brooklyn, you delivered big time. You came through - that's more than I can say for Pinkie.
I understand you might feel ill-prepared
fresh out of the dojo, but fear not - your training will continue under me.
Your first lesson is to soak up my words and comprehend that my bachelor’s degree from the
Chikara Wrestle Factory wasn’t what propelled me to becoming the Greatest Young Lions Cup
champion of all time. That’s right, you’re a fool if you believe Quack prepared me for the
chops on my chest, the concussions in my skull and the pain I felt in my heart - loss after
loss after loss in my very first few months on the circuit. No! It was the sick reality of
the cruel sport that tested my tenacity and toughness. It was my beatings by the likes of
Brodie Lee and Eddie Kingston that taught me lessons in Pro Wrestling 101. I passed with flying
colors and because of which, I’m proud to say, I graduated with a Masters in ring psychology and
a minor in promos.
That’s why it’s imperative that IF midway throughout a match, IF the momentum were to
shift in the other team’s favor and IF they were indeed able to tag in a fresh man, you’d
be the first one I send into the ring. While it would trouble me to see you dropkicked and
clotheslined in front of my very own eyes, you must understand it’s only for your own career
development. It’s for your own good that I’m sending you in to ultimetly get bruised and beaten.
It's like my mom always said, you need to get hit with a few backfists before you can back someone
up with your fists. Sending you in to be abused isn't because I don't care Jakob, it's because I
care too much. April 17th will be the day of your final exam.
3/23/2011:
STOP it already! I’m so sick of all you CHIKARMY chumps asking who my partners are going to be for
this year’s King of Trios. Enough with the e-mails, the Facebook posts, it’s not your-space, it’s MY-SPACE.
Give me some and I’ll freakin’ tell ya.
