Recently I made a long and horrid trip to the great white north with CHIKARA. Did I have a match? No.
Was I expected to be there to fulfill other duties? No. Did I show up on time, well-groomed, and in support of my fellow grapplers.
Yes. And why did I do this? Why did I take time to help support CHIKARA with just my presence? Because I'm a professional.
I know the boys in the locker need me to help them with moral support, counseling and advice. So I lead by example by showing up on time,
coming prepared with my ring gear, both dressed appropriately and groomed immaculately. While I'm away from the ring, I also make
sure to hit the gym, the tanning booth, and avoid sweets to ensure my body is in top physical form. I am a professional and I
represent CHIKARA as such. Quite frankly it annoys me, and is a slap to my face when others do not. I won't name any
names this time around, but I feel it would be an embarrassment if people possessed of ill-repute and unprofessionalism were to say they
were the true face and spirit of CHIKARA. A company or a title do not make the man. It is the man - the champion - who makes the
Speaking of me being a total inspiration and team builder, I have some words of wisdom for two of my less-esteemed comrades.
Ice Cream, Junior, El Hijo del Ice Cream, it has come to my attention that in Everett on the 29th, you two will be facing
none other than one of the greatest tag team wrestlers of the modern era. A man who once defeated Shawn Michaels to become
the Intercontinental champion of the WWF. The man I am referring to is none other than Marty Jannetty. Having recently seen
you in tag team action against The Colony during Aniversario weekend, I know you haven't been on your "A" game.
It would be easy to take this challenge lightly Ice Creams, as Marty has errantly chosen Green Ant as his partner on the advice of
Lex Luger (the two have an affinity for bus tours.) And to be fair, other than one fluke win over your Winged Ring Warrior,
who has Green Ant ever beaten? I will be in attendance this coming weekend, in both Portland and Everett, to lend my support
and counsel where it is needed, like a true professional. If you require my advice Ice Creams, do not hesitate to ask in
plain English, as there are none among us that know the idiosyncracies of a Marty Jannetty match as well as I do.