To whom it may concern,

With the King of the Trio weekend in my rearview mirror, I need to focus on the glorious future of my Wrecking Crew. The Devastation Corporation did exactly what I told everyone they would do. They won the King of the Trio Tournament. Max, Blaster, & Flex are the most dominant Trio in any territory. They’ve sold out the Sportatorium more than the Freebirds and the Von Erichs COMBINED!

Switching directions for a bit, I am equally as proud of Jaka & Oleg the Usurper. They defeated 9 other teams in a grueling match all by themselves, and looked handsome doing it! They were exhausted at the end, but thanks to their superior wrestling ability, they outlasted Ice Cream cones, real British guys, probably fake British guys, mummies & snakes! The grueling match took its toll on my boys. I had to cancel Oleg’s two week run in Vancouver for Al Tomko. (He doesn’t pay merch royalties, anyway.) Oleg deserved a vacation after that glorious victory and I sent him to Finland to relax. He’ll be back in time for North Carolina & Virginia and better than ever.

Jaka has legal issues when it comes to travel. You see, because of a recent misunderstanding in regards to an attack of Oliver North, he’s currently not “allowed” to leave the state. Well, my lawyer, the great Johnnie Cochran is on the case! While he won’t be free in time for the North Carolina and Virginia territory, I’m hoping to have him sprung in time to go to Fiji to watch him beat up Jimmy Snuka’s father. As far as the CHIKARA promotion goes, I always have a back-up plan! Oleg needs a tag partner, and I have a Corporation full of guys ready to hit the pay window.

See ya round the loop kid,

Sidney Bakabella

sent from my typewriter