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All our hard work, powerlifting, all the vitamins and dietary supplements, protein bars and whey shakes, studying our foes on tape and
picture disc, chasing stray cats in the alley behind Mama Jagged's townhouse, and training started to pay off last month in Easton at
"Behind the 8 Ball". Because it was there, in that seedy town nestled under
the armpit of New Jersey, that Jagged and I - without any assistance of any type - cleanly defeated La Hallowicked and
El Frightmare, who I have always suspected of being from Central America.
After "Behind the 8 Ball", we took to the streets partying like never
before. The finest French wines were consumed. Many McFlurries were devoured. It was as if Elvis had become President of the
Universe or something. In fact, that's EXACTLY what it was like. Many of Pennsylvania's most eligible discovered why we call
Jagged the "Wet Bandit." By "we" I mean the super-elite of the uppercrust. You don't travel in those circles without a swank
nickname. I should know. They call me "Big Magic" and crank "Beat It" on their car stereos when they drive past, as a sign of respect.
Maybe we overdid it a little. I can't hold my Château Lafite like I used to, and those Oreo McFlurries go right to Jagged's head. So
when we rolled into Philly the next day, we were out of step. And before we knew what happened, our point was gone! That precious,
beautiful point torn from our grasp! Oh, Point. We hardly knew ye. Now we are once again on the outside looking in.
There has been some libelous rumor-mongering, saying that our victory at "Behind
the 8 Ball", was in someway the doing of Brodie Lee. FALSE! The referee was not Brodie Lee! So, do not blame him,
Incoherence! We have already beaten you two spaz-clowns, and if you want another shot at Canada's Most Professional
Tag Team, we aren't hard to find. Not at all. You can find us in Easton on May 23rd. We'll be backstage, just look around. We usually hang out by the ice machine. Or, if you
DARE - face us in the ring!
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Copyright © 2009
CHIKARA: Wrestling Done Right
5/11/2009:
CHIKARA fans! Let me tell you a little story. A story about two fair-skinned men from the frigid plains of Canadia. Y'see, these two
men were on a sacred quest - a crusade, if you will - to pick up three points. These points were all that separated them from
unrivaled, indisputable GREATNESS. Are you ready for the surprise revelation? Those two guys are us - 2.0!
